Grace Under Fire

As William Goldman was driving to Beverly Hills with his young daughters some 40 years ago, he asked what they wanted to hear a story about. One replied "princesses," while the other said, "brides." This is how Faces of Death was born.

OK, it was The Princess Bride.

Anyway, today I began rooting around his many, many works to learn more about the book (and movie), and have already found reams of plain hilarious Goldman narrative. Screenplay, novel, personal essay, anything—it's seriously hilarious. Example: An inconceivably funny moment during Bride's filming.

The worst thing I've ever done was on The Princess Bride. During the swamp sequence.
For those of you who don't know, and how dare you not, Buttercup and Westley are being pursued by her fiance, Prince Humperdinck. They are forced to go through the Fire Swamp, not easy—no one has ever come out of it alive.

One of the dangers of the Fire Swamp is the flame spurts.

These unexpected streaks of flame happen there and when I wrote the novel, well, Buttercup and Westley are making their way through the place, and suddenly flames—her dress is on fire.

Westley saves her.

In all the endless screenplay versions, same deal. Buttercup and Westley are making their way through the place, and suddenly flames—her dress is on fire.

Okay. Pinewood Studios. The glorious Norman Garwood Fire Swamp set. This is my dream come true, watching this baby happen, and you can bet I am tense, but for me, kind of almost happy.

Okay. Roll of drums please.

Rob Reiner says "Action" and now here comes Cary Elwes as Westley leading my beloved Robin Wright as Buttercup into the Fire Swamp and they are making their way through the place—

—and suddenly flames—

—and I scream out loud, "Her dress is on fire!"